Tonight I'm trying to find an old post about someone I know well and love. It was written before his birthday and he said it was the best birthday present he ever got. Unfortunately, I couldn't find it. I am now disappointed that I was too submissive and just said YES when he asked me to taken down from my blog. He was surprised when his sister google his name and found my blog in the search engine. Maybe his sister thought what is the relationship between me, an amateur writer, and her brother who has no achievements and why is her brother worth writing about? Of course, his sister doesn't understand that the writing is made with love and not a trail of life achievements. That's a different logic.
We weren't together for long, it turned out that I was unable to contain the emotions of ‘My Little Chinese’ (The name I used to call him) and I really enjoyed fucking other people. My thinking was too liberal and there was no place for it in his concept of love. We parted on bad terms even though I wanted to part on good terms.
One day a miracle came! In the depths of his despair he asked me to meet him at a stall because he didn't have anyone who would listen. He also didn't have a friend who could fulfil his intellectual needs. Maybe he got what he wanted that time and I got our friendship back.
Before long, I knew he was busy with his studies and thesis. So we rarely communicated again. In my hindsight, I miss climbing mountains together, getting drunk , or imprisoning myself in a room while having great sex with him.
The farewell came, he contacted me during his graduation day. He didn't invite me to the campus but to La Fayete Hotel, a luxurious place full of voluptuous red colours. That night we didn't say much and just had sex. It was weird sex and we didn't like it anymore. We ended without an orgasm and sat on the balcony smoking Sampoerna cigarettes, his favourite. We are young people who look to the future with uncertainty.
That night turned out to be the real goodbye. One year later, a friend contacted me that he had died. I was terrified because I didn't feel anything.
"Once upon a time on the same side, in the same game
Now why'd you have to go?
Have to go and throw water on my flame"
Coldplay ft Rihanna -- Princess of China