Untuk Benjamin

Dalam gelap gulita kurasakan dirimu merangkak menuju ranjangku. Aku terlalu malas untuk membuka mata, tetapi kurasakan dirimu bersanding di belakang punggungku. Ku berbalik ke arahmu dan mengalungkan tanganku ke padamu. Kurasakan gundah dari desahanmu. Ada apa denganmu akhir-akhir ini?

Kubaca matamu akhir-akhir ini yang setengahnya suram, sisanya tanda tanya. Jika saja aku mampu memahami bahasamu sehingga tak perlu menerka isi pikiramu, aku akan bersedia menyelam ke dalam semua anganmu. Tetapi inilah kita yang hidup di satu bumi, beda dunia.

Masih kuingat ketika kita berjalan di taman anggrek, salah satu tempat yang membuatku ingat akan keindahan dan ketenangan. Tetapi kurasakan kau tidak merasa serupa denganku. Kegelisahan mendalam, itukah sepi yang kau rasakan?

Warna-warni bunga dan suara alam kau palingkan dan kau lebih menikmati kegundahanmu. Dan waktu itu kita segera pergi dari tempat itu saat matahari tenggelam di langit sore yang kelam.

Suara malam hening mengisi ruang-ruang rumah kita. Kini hanya kita berdua di makar. Aku memelukmu lebih erat, sejenak kau menikmatinya tapi dirimu segera meronta dan memberontak. 

Aku memang bukan dia yang dulu pernah bersamamu. Jika kau tahu aku pun merindunya. Tidakkah kau bisa menikmati malam ini berdua saja. Tanpa dia yang selalu di angan kita. 14 September kita akan mengenang semua memori dan membakarnya satu-satu. Dan semoga yang tersisa hanya abu dan kita berdua saja.

Tempe(k) Balad

Terdengar decit pintu depan rumah terbuka, selanjutnya suara sendal jepit yang diseret pasrah. Digantungnya peci hitam pudarnya bersama baju koko yang dikenakannya sehari-hari ke masjid. Ia segera menuju ruang keluarga yang diterangi lampu 25 watt, temaram. Di ruang itu tertata meja kayu persegi panjang yang muat untuk empat orang saja. Seperti anjuran pemerintah bagi keluarga-keluarga sederhana (baca: kecil) seperti mereka, bapak, ibu dan dua anak saja.

Bapak menggeser kursi yang dimasukkan kebawah meja. Dia lalu duduk dengan tenang, kedua tangannya diletakkan diatas meja layaknya anak-anak patuh yang belajar di sekolah dasar. Ditatapnya tudung saji di tengah-tengah meja dengan penuh tanya. Sudah beberapa hari ini Bapak bersikap demikian, hari ini dia bersikap sama.

Dibuka tudung saji itu perlahan, kepalanya ditundukkan mencoba mengintip isinya. Terbukalah tudung saji, hanya ada bakul, setoples kerupuk dan semangkuk sayur ketela. Tersembur raut muka yang kecewa dari raut mukanya.

“Mak...!” Dipanggillah istrinya.

“Iya pak..” Jawab istrinya yang datang menghampirinya.

“Mamak nggak ke pasar hari ini?” Tanya bapak.

“Ke pasar pak, lha itu beli krupuk beli dimana kalo nggak di pasar.” Jawabnya.

“Kok nggak beli tempe atau tahu? Uang yang bapak kasih nggak cukup? Masak anak-anak kita yang cerdas itu kita kasih kerupuk terus, bisa melempem otak mereka lama-lama, mak!” Bapak bertanya dengan nada tinggi.

“Duitnya cukup!” Jawab si istri ketus.

“Lha kenapa nggak beli?” Tanya bapak.

“Pembuat tempe dan tahu lagi demo.”

“Lha...” Si Bapak tidak berani melanjutkan perbincangan. 

Segera Bapak mengambil piring dan melahap hidangan malam itu dengan lahap. Kres kres kres, terdengar suara kerupuk yang dia gilas dengan gigi-giginya yang tak teratur. 

Ditatapnya kalender yang terpajang di tembok ruang. Tertulis jelas tahun 2013 dicetak besar dengan warna hitam.

“2014 swasembada kedelai.” Gumamnya.

Dipalingkannya kelander itu dan kembali menikmati hidangan makan malam yang sederhana itu.

Joker and Penguin

For Penguin,

My Partner In Crime…

Sunday, 28 February 2010

At the end of the dry season, he invited my heart to come to him. He let me in, he shown me where the land lies. We planted the seed of life and let the heart fertilise around the hay scattered. Time went by and sprouts revived from our sacred land.

Everything began from this phase, we created our own path, departed to something odd called love.

***

One day he took me for a walk in the garden with his dogs. He told me how he had lived before, a tough man I believe. But everything seemed to be delightful with old jokes and his great passion of knowledge. He was a very nice guy to play with even just for making plans for the future.

Talking and planning for the future, I told him that I am so scared as to me everything is a mystery. But he convinced me that life is about fighting a question mark. Then, he held my hand tightly and told me that I would not be walking alone, I would be together with him. 107 years of his life he said, and I will be around 50 years old when the death wings of the angel take me.

We saw a pool in the middle of the garden. He liberated the dogs from the chain so they could run freely, so did he liberate my mind from all boundaries. He took me beyond the imagination that I could never barely think about.

He took me to the pool and walked me down to the water. He undressed me with all his curiosity, With honesty, I did the exactly the same thing as he did on me. I showed him that I am not a batman, instead I am a joker. He replied me neither that he is a Robin. He said he is the penguin, a big penguin. And after all we became a very good partner in crime.

“Plotting a revenge and a world domination”

***

Sunday, 3 June 2012

On that particular day, we didn’t talk about him and me as an individual criminal. Maybe we're just nothing and nobody to recognise. The government, the society, but we don’t care, do we? In front of the angel that we don't even believe in their existence, we sealed our heart and once again he took me for another big step. Very few people were being our eye-witnesses, however they embrace our ultimate criminal act. They agree upon a concept that we consider it as an “illegal wedding affair”.

A year after that, I've come to realise that the marriage was the most wonderful thing ever happened in my life. I hope that he feels the same thing as I do.

***

Friday, 2 August 2013

It was a sad night, a very horrible night for me. For the first time he said he want to stop doing criminals and to turn to be a good man. I couldn’t stop to persuade him. He insisted to go anyway.

I asked him where did he want to go? Did he want to break up with me? What's wrong with me? Could I at least fix anything?

He said he wanna go somewhere where he could remain eternally in my heart.

He gave me all his love to me and then all of sudden he's gone. I never about to see him ever again. All I could remember is his very last words when he couldn't say anything clearly. He said he loves me.

 I said I love him too, I wouldn’t let him go. At last his love will stay in my heart, forever. I'll see you again in the next life, my partner in crime.

With full of love and hatred

Joker