Sunday, 5 May 2024

About Breaking Up

You were sitting in the corner of your room, throwing your gaze out the window, looking at the towering trees against the blue sky. I knew you weren't well, so I ventured to open a conversation with you. As usual your cry broke and it made my heart shrink, I couldn't bear to see you like that again. again and again.

I don't know what made us last this long even though we hurt and wounded each other. I think it's because neither of us has the courage to make a decision. And today I dared to make a choice that you could never accept. We are not lovers but friends. What many people think might be impossible. But I want to try it with you. 

We started all this when you were in the deepest of slumps. I as a new person in your life, someone who was actually trying to heal, was moved to help you. I did it so sincerely that I forgot how we became lovers. Maybe I believe that love comes from habit. Used to talking to each other, used to spending time together. 

At that time I forgot to say that I was someone who couldn't be jealous. I was also very fond of having sex with various people I met. This relationship has been built on injustice and violence. A sad reality for an activist who fights for humanity.  

Without realising it, without this ideal situation, we have actually grown. I see you are strong and I am happy for you. Maybe it's good that we are like this. Maybe we still have a long way to go. We need to feel love again and heartbreak, and continue to do so. 

We don't know what the future holds, I don't know what the future holds. Can we stay in the same house and take care of each other without getting hurt?

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